Sterek AU: Derek gets a job as a mechanic and then very much regrets telling Stiles where he works. If he has to hear one more joke about rim jobs or lube, he’s going to throw a spanner at Stiles head. Or make out with him. It’s a toss up.

So what do you think? Now that the whole world wants to sleep with you.



Ask me what kind of porn I’m into,
and I will take you on a magical journey to

What turns me on
is Ginny Weasley in the Restricted Section with her skirt hiked up,
Sirius Black in a secret passageway
solemnly swearing he is up to no good,
and Draco Malfoy
in the Room of Requirement
Slytherin in to my Chamber of Secrets,

I am an unapologetic consumer of
all things Potterotica,
and the sexiest part
is not the way
Cho Chang rides that broomstick,
or the sound of Myrtle moaning,
the sexiest part
is knowing they are part of a bigger story,
that they exist beyond eight minutes in
“Titty Titty Gang Bang,”
that their kegels
are not the strongest thing about them,
and still,
I am told that my porn is unrealistic.

Not quite as erotic
as flashing ads that say “JUST TURNED 18!”
so you can fantasize about fucking
the youngest girl you won’t go to jail for;

I’m told that my porn isn’t quite as lifelike
as a room full of lesbians begging for cock,
told that this
is what is supposed to turn me on,

Don’t you give me raw meat
and tell me it is nourishment,
I know a slaughterhouse when I see one.

It looks like 24/7 live streaming
reminding me
that men are going to fuck me
whether I like it or not,
that there is one use for my mouth
and it is not speaking,
that a man is his most powerful
when he’s got a woman by the hair;

The first time a man I loved
held me by the wrists and called me a whore,
I did not think, “RUN.”
I thought, “This is just like the movies,”
I know a slaughterhouse when I see one.

It looks like websites and seminars
teaching you how to fuck more bitches;
Looks like 15-year-old boys
bullied for being virgins;
It looks like the man who did not flinch
when I said “Stop,”
and he heard, “try harder,”

If you play-act at butchery long enough
you grow used to
the sounds of the screaming.

It is just a side effect of industry;
Everything gets cut
into small, marketable pieces,
you can almost forget
they were ever real bodies.

I will not practice bloody hands.
I will not make-believe dissected women.
My sex cannot be packaged,
my sex is magic,
it is part of a bigger story;
I am whole.
I exist when you are not fucking me,
and I will not be cut into pieces


Hey I was wondering what did Joss Whedon say about Natasha's storyline? Or whatever future plans he has for her? Thanks :) (asked by Anonymous)



“Natasha is a huge part of the sequel because you do want to concentrate on the people who don’t have their own franchises. Although [she’s] in ‘Cap 2,’ [and] she’s great. She was the most fun for me because she’s not a hero, you know, and it’s something that I read—and I feel bad that I can’t remember who wrote the book—but it’s in one of the books explaining, ‘These guys are heroes, you are a spy. It’s a different thing—it’s a different skill set—and you don’t have their moral high ground or any of that good stuff.’ And that just makes her so interesting to me. So yeah, the stuff I’ve got going on with her in the second one is killer.”


  1. Nat is not getting her own movie anytime soon or EVER >:((((((
  2. He doesn’t see her as a “”“”“hero”“”“”“” even though in catws she was clearly screaming at people to get out of her way even as she was being chased by the winter soldier and would’ve been better off blending into the crowd EVEN THOUGH WITH THE END OF CATWS IT WOULD BE THE PERFECT JUMPING POINT FOR AN EXPLORATION OF HER SPY/HERO IDENTITY EVEN THOUGH IN COMICS CANON NATASHA STRUGGLES WITH HER SPY/AVENGER IDENTITY AND IT’S THE MOST INTERESTING PART OF HER CHARACTER ARC

tl;dr I’m probably overreacting but I don’t care I want a Black Widow movie not written by Whedon

oh, please.

  1. Natasha does not have her own franchise at present. that is a fact, folks, not an opinion. there’s no indication whatsoever in that quote that he’s saying it won’t ever happen, just that YOU HAVE TO FLESH OUT THE CHARACTERS WITHOUT THEIR OWN FRANCHISES IN THE ENSEMBLE FILMS OR THEY’RE. NOT. GOING TO BE FLESHED OUT. and even if this were some clue that we’re never going to get a Black Widow movie, that is an executive decision that rests in Marvel’s and, specifically, Feige’s hands, and blame should be laid on them. Feige makes the decisions about what movies get made, and that was the case long before he brought Joss on board. let me reiterate that: Kevin Feige brought Joss on board. Feige is the boss. not for nothing, but he’s also the one who makes actual shitty statements about a Black Widow movie, some of them just this past weekend at SDCC 2014, you are welcome to google it.
  2. poorly worded, I admit, but to me it seemed clear that he meant Natasha is not a traditional superhero or one who wears the mantle easily, that she would have difficulty considering herself to be one, i.e., the struggle between her identities is an intrinsic part of her narrative, just… like you are saying? he also made a similar quote in 2012, which supports this: “Her story is among my favorites, because she’s not a hero. She doesn’t live in a hero’s world; she lives in a very noir/duplicitous world of being a spy, and there’s a darkness to her and her past.” so this was before her heroic actions in The Avengers and The Winter Soldier, this perception of Natasha is clearly not that she can’t or won’t be a hero.
  3. Joss Whedon does not write the individual character franchise films and never has, so I guess you’re gonna not get what you want? but it seems like there’s this disconnect for people who are fans of Natasha, who talk about how amazing she was in The Avengers and how she actually carried the whole movie, and then turn around and blame Joss for some perception of exclusion that really only exists on the executive level where Joss is not making the decisions. /THROWS UP HANDS


Guardians of the Galaxy was just so much fun (and the best space adventure I’ve seen since Star Wars!), and I loved all the characters so much but these two were my faves. :D because RIVAL SPACE ASSASSINS

I JUST WANT MORE NEBULA AND GAMORA BACKSTORY AND INTERACTION please please please let this be a thing in the next movie


This is the most unproductive thing i have ever done.